Friends to Entertain - Kathryn Gallagher

Better off, I tell myself

I’m in hell, you’re covering

This apartment, and I hate it

The sweet nothings at the start

Beats us, and we’re art

Greater story in the making

When I’m alone I get amnesia

The worst part of me wants you against reason

The glory days came and went

You ask for space, works to blame

I’m too much now, baby

You throw a party on a boat

I’m out of town, you fuck around

With a yellow bikini

Oh, it’s my birthday weekend, baby

Not that there’s a good time for cheating

How dare you fight for me this time?

How dare you promise anything this time?

I was there, in your arms, in July

And you’re swearing, «this time,»

Did you know it was a lie?

Driving home from your friends'

The first time I met them

Tell me they said, «Not beautiful enough for you»

But you defended my face

Was I supposed to celebrate

How you handled my disgrace?

And discreetly, Band-Aid where I’m bleeding

This kind of love leaves me no room for needing

How dare you fight for me this time?

How dare you promise anything this time?

But I was there, in your arms, in July

And you’re swearing, «this time,»

Did you know it was a lie?

Oh, it’s true

Baby, I want to believe you

Oh, it’s true

There’s a suitcase of things I’m holding on to

Your new lover plays my guitar

With a note that says

«For ever and a day you have my heart.»

This was not a case of indifference

I’m in a maze, chasing narrative

I’m losing weight 'cause I can’t eat

One day I’ll wear a yellow bikini

How dare you fight for me this time?

How dare you promise anything this time?

When I was there, in your arms, in July

And you’re swearing, «this time,»

Did you know it was a lie?

In the kitchen, we’re alone

Breakfast I made, fresh on the stove

And your eyes go grey

The hand I held turned away

Showed me the door in the home we made

And I hear my pulse race

I made it halfway down our street

The one we loved 'cause it’s named like me

Then in a text, you say «pack your things

I’ve got friends to entertain,»

hm. fuck